Changing my ways

I started jogging in July. I've run a half-marathon and lost 35 LB's since then. But I still love junk food.

Is Blogging for Losers?

Maybe. But, as an English major, I need some outlet to justify all the money I spent on college loans.

Does Mr. Way-too-proud-of-Houston qualify?

I love it, but Dallas still sucks.

ESPN, Get Your Categories Straight!

ESPN lists bother me. I don't currently have evidence to back up what I'm about to say, but on the authority of having spent many thousands of hours watching and eading ESPN, I assure you that what I'm about to say is true: ESPN lists almost invariably confuse categories. The ways in which ESPN confuses categories include (but are not limited to) the following:

1. Comparing individual plays with a series of plays. ESPN will have something like a Top Five Plays of The Week list, and four of the five will be single plays (as the list suggests). But one of the Top Five will be something like a player hitting for the cycle, or getting a quadruple-double, or scoring four touchdowns. Those feats, while impressive, do not match the category being ranked! The same can be said for Top Five Moments categories in which one moment is a single play and another moment is a season or stretch of games.

2. Not defining what constitutes a great play. A classic category mix-up on ESPN is when they compare a fantastic play (defined by difficulty of accomplishment) with a crucial play (defined by its impact on the game or season at hand). This happens on Web Gems sometimes. A shortstop makes a dazzling play, and it's a Web Gem. But another Web Gem may be an impressive-but-less-than-dazzling defensive play that was the difference in the game.

3. Trying too hard to make lists diverse (defined by type of player or sport) at the cost of consistency and accuracy. This is my favorite example: ESPN had a horse on the Top 100 Athletes of the Century list. The problem with that is, either no horses should qualify for that list, or EVERY spot should be filled with horses and cheetahs! Furthermore, some sports require more athleticism than others, yet the list was clearly made in such a way as to intentionally include a cross-section of sports. I honestly don't believe that any of the 100 most athletic people of the century were golfers, but golfers had to be on the list because ESPN needed contrived diversity.

Thoughts? I wish Bill Simmons would address this issue. Maybe he has.

Top Dentist Office Hits

Favorite songs I hear at the dentist's office:

10 The Motown Song - Rod Stewart
9 Come Monday - Jimmy Buffet
8 Holding Back The Years - Simply Red
7 Heart of Gold - Neil Young (Is that too edgy for this list?)
6 Islands in the Stream - Kenny Rogers & Dolly Parton
5 Gypsy - Fleetwood Mac
4 Daniel - Elton John
3 A Horse With No Name - America
2 Escape (The Pina Colada Song) - Rupert Holmes
1 Rhiannon - Fleetwood Mac

Fleetwood Mac is easily the greatest dentist office band ever.

Suggestions?

Endurance is Overrated

Soccer players are impressive athletes. However, sometimes I think soccer players' athleticism is somewhat overstated when their fans constantly reference the need for endurance in soccer, because it seems to me that endurance is a skill that is relatively attainable. Most decently athletic people can build endurance, but very few even stud athletes people can perform with the power/quickness combo of a Ray Lewis, Tim Duncan, or Ken Griffey Jr. I'm not saying soccer players don't have those more-difficult-to-attain skills; just saying endurance isn't evidence of that.

Wrinkled Pants vs. Wrinkled Jacket

I accidentally dropped off Suit Jacket A and Suit Pants B at the dry cleaner. I realized this at work today when I noticed that I was wearing Suit Jacket B with Suit Pants A. I have an important meeting arriving sooner than I can get matching pants and jacket dry cleaned. So, all else being equal, do I pick wrinkled pants with a pressed jacket or a wrinkled jacket with pressed pants? I'm inclined towards choosing the pressed jacket, because there's always a solid chance of sitting around a table.

Ban Marlboros

I have arrived at the perfect compromise to the whole indoor smoking ban controversy: Ban Marlboros. Naturally, this ban would also include Winstons, Newports, Basics, and anything with "100's" in the name. While this ban may accomplish little to nothing in terms of reducing second-hand smoke, it would encourage citizens to choose cigarettes that taste good, namely, Camels.

Worst Sports Month

February is indisputably the worst sports month. Hockey sucks. NBA and college hoops both have uninspiring regular seasons. And MLB spring training is a tease.

Here's how I rank sports months, best to worst:
October
September
April
August
July
June
May
December
November
January
March
February

An Open Letter To McDonald's

“When was the last time tofu squares from Whole Foods helped anyone?” That's the question I ask every time I hear someone peddling self-righteous propaganda from Super Size Me. I have been an unwavering McDonald’s apologist.

But that’s about to change. I can no longer stand idly by while you make a mockery of my loyalty by providing me with, at best, no information (and, at worst, misinformation) regarding the future status of the McRib. Is it leaving or staying? Is it leaving and then returning? I’m tired of the runaround, and I demand clarity!

If you do not quickly respond with a declaration that the McRib will permanently remain on the McDonald’s menu, I will take my fast food business elsewhere. Yes, I will miss your fries – nobody else’s compares. But you’re not the only worthy provider of fast food. I do have other options! Burger King, Wendy's, Chick-fil-A, Taco Bell, Jack-in-the-Box, to name a few. It's up to you.

Sincerely,

AstroFan

The Problem with Hoops

I really like basketball. But all the viewing options have serious problems.

College Hoops - I understand why people dig college hoops. But it has some major downfalls:

1. The regular season is fairly bland. You pretty much know the good teams will make it. Duke may be playing for a #1 seed, but it's not like any given win or loss really matters. Sure, they're an extreme example, but the same could be said for any team that has a legitimate shot at winning it all.

2. March Madness, while exciting, is mostly for people who enjoy the excitement for the excitement's sake. Or else for their gambling pool's sake. Point being, most people following March Madness aren't really focused on their team so much as a selection of teams they predicted in an office pool. I just can't root for sports that way. I have a few sports teams I like, and the SOLE purpose of me watching sports is hoping to celebrate those specific teams winning.

I prefer the NBA, admitedly because I have more positive memories of my NBA team than I do of my college team. But the NBA has major drawbacks also:

1. Teams that suck make the playoffs. You'll NEVER see the equivalent of a come-from-behind-down-the-stretch-MLB pennant race, because if you're decent, you're going to coast to the playoffs. If the NBA cut its playoff berths in half, it would immediately become 3X's more interesting.

2. The NBA is too superstar-centric. It's about having 5 random players you like, and it doesn't matter if those players play for 5 different teams.

That's why, even though I like hoops, I rarely watch it. There's not a compelling league to follow.

McRib vs. Filet o' Fish

Is the McRib really gone for good? I went on a diet* about a month ago, so I can't vouch for this information being fully updated. But in January I saw a sign at McD's that said: "McRib - A Farewell Tour"... or maybe it said "Final Tour," but it was something to the effect that it's leaving for good soon. I've always considered the McRib entirely underrated. Does anyone know if it's gone for good? If so, what can I do to get McD's to change its mind?

More to the point, why can't they just give the McRib permanent status on the menu? C'mon, if even the Filet o' Fish is permanent, the McRib doesn't deserve to be treated like a step-child. I'm a big McD's fan, and even I won't go near the Filet o' Fish.

* - Refers to an annual January/February ritual in which I lose 30 LB's before putting on 40 LB's during the remaining 10 months.